6 years, 5 months ago roops9Keymaster
My hubby was jobless since we got married. but he alys asked me not to disclose to anybody.. now tat i got lot of debts.. and got pressure from both our parents side i diclosed the truth.
His behaviour changed a lot.once he left the job. the whole day he is normal and at nite he begins qareeling for the sake for doing tat.. simoply he takes a topic like he will tell today sambar taste was bad… and finally wil tell since my mom has come u have purposefully spoiled the taste , i know about u….. all such things comes in..
Now a days its more and more… he finds faults in almost everything i do … and talks to my parents saying things which i have nto done as i ahve done…
and the peak is he buys drinks and keeps at home and starts drinking sip by sip when i am busy feeding my 1 yr old son.. then starts quarreling..
The thnig is his mom supports him for wat ever i say… to her.. she says u adjust and try to change him he is paavam.. now i hav told to my parents becoz of which he got angry and left to his native asking me to sign the divorce papers.
I am a working mom with a determination to work. and i am the only bread winner of the family beocz of these quareelins i get hurt and sleep whole night and get fever and not able to go for work the next day.
Frnds tell me as what can i do…
6 years, 5 months ago hemaKeymaster
hi, paa dont worry god is there for all of us , if u loves him truly just try to change with u r affection this specially for u r kid only , first find out reason why is not going for job or normally is like that no use for change just take decision as u like ask lot of suggestion from all but decision should be u r s
6 years, 5 months ago subhasubbaKeymaster
Instead of divorce just stay separated for a few days and see whether he really needs u and ur kid. I know u wud have tried to tvalk to him and find out the reason for his behaviour. Is it justifiable? If yes give him some time , else u can decide. since u r working may be ur mil is against it. Never loose heart. Think for u first and then ur kid. I am not for divorce but am against men who simply torture women.
6 years, 5 months ago Bhavani RamanKeymaster
I am surprised your mil supports you! or atleast believes in what you say and that his son is wrong. Thats good in a way.
I go with hemshakthi. If you love him still, try to change it. I know it has been a rough time for you… but people say god gives tough times only to those who can bear it! So face it with confidence. As hemshakthi says, why is your husband not getting any job in this hot job market? I don’t think your husband thinks with his brain to ask divorse! What will he do after divorse? He’ll leave his child? No job and sit on his parent’s support? I don’t think his parents also will support him in this divorse…. If you choose to divorse him, it’s his lose completely.
Please do not make any decisions with your heart. Decide with your brain. Go to a counsellor (there is a counsellor in our expert panel itself) and seek their help. But ultimately you’ve to decide.
It’s not easy to live a single mom. Even your child needs a father. You can earn, take good care of your child with your earnings. You can even settle better than you were with your husband. But the partnership and company throughout the life will not be there, unless you think of remarriage later.
If you can take your husband also to a counsellor, it’ll be good. I think he is depressed bcoz he dont have job and he is dependent on you. Not many men take it good when they’ve to depend on a woman. To prove that he is superior to you, he finds faults with you (even if you have not done anything wrong). I think he needs the confidence that he is still the man of the house and you will love him irrespective of whether he has a job or not. If he doesnt listen to you and go to a counsellor, is there a good friend for your husband who can make him understand? Then approach them. Or you can ask your mil to talk to her son and understand why he is so angry with you.
He might just be angry and he wdnt have meant divorse for all you know!
6 years, 5 months ago roops9Keymaster
He says he has got a offer and moving to some other place and wants me and my son to stay in my moms placE.. Ours is a luv marraige so shame on us.. Its me the person alys trying to be together and see the future.. He never tells tat he wants to be together.. wat ever prblm comes he is the first and last prsn to ask for divorce…
I taked to my SIL she is a dr, my hubby came to knw tat i talked to her and he got angry… my dad asked lot of questions as how we got os many debts… which forced me to say him tat my hubby doesnt have job for past one month..now he says he will never come back to chennai and face my parents.. He says he will forget tat he met me in his life and wont live with me anymore…
My dad asking his resume so that he can arrange for a gud job for him,,, but my hubby alys wants money frm my parents not help of any other form… ridiculous..
My MIL also tells me the same.. as my hubby takes money frm my MIL, she says.. i am the person givng u two money alys.. y dont u tel the situation to ur parents and y are u hiding tat u ppl are happy and prospperuous..
I told the same to my dad and he promised me to arange a job for him.. For tat my hubby says who is he to get a job fo rme??i wil never come back to chni nor i wud be with my parents.. i am going to some place and work there.. wil not tell u where abouts…
6 years, 5 months ago LAKeymaster
roops… donno wht to tell u.. uhav always shared ur probs with us, and i sincerely feel bad on ur behalf… for no falut of urs u r forced to go thru all this… but pls divorce is a very important decision, do not jump into it… u have a child, so think well beofre u take any such step…
if ur husband is so adamant to move out, maybe once u should let him go and fend for himself… maybe being away frm u both may make him aware how valubale u r… let him try and find a job for himslef and learn to live, maybe then he’ll appreciate ur efforts…
but do not jump into drastic steps like divorce… tht should be last resort, not the first…