How to help your child overcome shyness?

Shyness is a problem when it limits the child from doing what she wants to do and also it is a problem when it limits the child from enjoying new experiences.

Analyse why there is shyness:

Understand whether being shy comes from birth or does it come due to an experience. Many study state that if a child hesitated to speak to stranger or touch an unfamiliar object when she was 21 months old, the child will be mostly the same at the age of 12.

Is it really shyness or is it a stage?

A shy baby won’t show any change in the way it reacts when it meets a new person. She will also not get upset when you leave. She will be also reluctant to be put in a strange place and be cautious as she grows.The main behaviour of shyness is that they will avoid eye contact, they will hide behind their mother and also turn the head away.

The main behaviour of shyness is that they will avoid eye contact, they will hide behind their mother and also turn the head away.

Being a parent to a child who is shy:

Few parents accept the fact that the child is shy. Many parents try to make the child interact in social situations.

It is essential to combine both encouragement and support. The focus should be letting the child do the things she wants to do and not letting shyness be a barrier for it.

Here are some methods that will help the child.

Show them the path:

Parents of other children will be happy not being there for the child in some places as the child is already comfortable. Buy if your child feels safe only if you are around, then do it for the child.

Setting the stage:

Motivate friends and family to work with child. Inform then that she is slow to warm up or shy. Make a request to the family and friends to give her time to adjust and observe to the new situation.

Search for a balance:

Never try to remove the child from its comfort zone at all places. If the child wants to be with you in a situation for a long time, then let her be. Only if she is feeling better then, get her comfortable with other children.

Find the strengths in the child and reinforce them:

When you help the child to be socially adept, remind the child that all these skills are taught to make him more comfortable and better.

Understanding whether the child is not just shy:

Sometimes shy children are not just shy children. Let the paediatrician or psychologist try to find out whether there is any other problem.

Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia:

Sometimes an excessive shy child with the shy behaviour lasting for more than 6 months might severely limit herself to engage in daily activities.

Selective Mutism:

This child is one who understands and speaks normally at home or to select few persons but refuses(or unable) to talk to many in the case of social situations.

Asperger’s Syndrome:

This is a child who is having an abnormal intense preoccupation with particular interest, not flexible to rituals, unusual    . Also, this child will have inability to read social cues.


This is a child who is reluctant to meet even primary family members, has delayed language, or apparent inability.

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