I am a medical student and trainee at Abbasi Shaheed Hospital. I met a girl last week at the Radiology department. Her hands were stained with Hena, her face fully covered with makeup like a newlywed bride,  her hair combed up professionally. On her face were bruises, scars on her eyelids, lips, ears, gazes and scratches on hands, dried flakes of blood on her legs, eyes full of tears and a man was standing there with her.

Just as anyone else would, I asked the man what had happened to her. In return, he said that nothing had happened to her, there was a minor ‘gharelu issue’ between the woman and her husband. Upon asking who he was, he replied that he was her brother. The brother did not seem in a mood to tell me exactly what had happened, so I inquired it from the victim herself. What she told me, left me stunned!

I made myself comfortable with her and asked her, “Bibi, what happened to you?” She broke down in tears and said that my husband raped me and then beat me a lot. I hesitated and reconfirmed, “Rape?” She nodded. She then got into the details of what had happened and how it panned out.

“I only got married yesterday night, it was our first night together and my husband demanded sex. I told him I wasn’t feeling well, as I was on my period. He told me it doesn’t matter and she should go ahead with it. I resisted it… I told him that I couldn’t. He got really angry and started beating me. He then raped me and further beat me with his hands, his legs, even used a belt. I kept crying, screaming, begging him to stop but he didn’t. After that, he pushed my so hard that I hit my neck somewhere and broke my collarbone.”

PeriodSex

Upon checking her reports, the girl had suffered a clavicle fracture after the hue and cry with her husband. She started crying like a little child, her face was full of anger and she was yelling in pain.

While crying, she started screaming at her brother, “Tum logon ne aisay mard se mera nikah kyun karwaya?” I consoled her and asked her to launch a FIR against her husband. During this, I was interrupted by her brother, who said that she should’ve listened to her husband… had she not said no to him, this never would have happened.

Her brother’s statement shocked me. I got a bit angry and told him that a man does not have the right to force sex on his wife without her consent. Also, that Islam doesn’t allow sex while the woman is on her period.

The Qur’aan clearly stated the reason for this prohibition, which is that menstruation is adha (a harmful thing). Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):  “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses”
[al-Baqarah 2:222] 

Even though he understood what I said, he countered me by saying, “Aisa kuch nahi hota, kisi aur aurat ka rapethorai kiya hai? Uski biwi hai!” This was when I realized that our society doesn’t think of marital rape as a sin or doing something wrong. Whatever they do, they deem fit.


This was originally posted in Parhlo

Photo Credits: Parhlo